He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Is it penis luge time yet?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
