The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
