My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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