Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
