I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
