White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize