Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
