Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
