Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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