Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
