So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Randomize
