so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
