Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
