I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
