Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
