Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
