This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
