what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize