you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
