Cold hands, warm shart.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
they need to just BURY HIM!
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
foreskin is a definite game changer
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
