we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
