Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I pour the whiskey from now on
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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