So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
