thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
