I just threw up on my dentist
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
she peed on how many people?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
