You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
