Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
