I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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