Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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