I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
