Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
she peed on how many people?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
last night I used snow as a chaser
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize