butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
