Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
