her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
