So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
