It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
