Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Terrible idea I love it
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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