I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize