We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
