if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Holy sore nipples Batman
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
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