I want to have your abortion
he puts the penis in happiness.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
