Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
why is half of my head shaved?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
