Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
