we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
