He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
two words: eviction party
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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