That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
