im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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