she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
