Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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