It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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