mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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