i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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