The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
