I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
