you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
