just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
