he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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