watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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