great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
whose parrot is this?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
So much Jack, so little girl.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
