Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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