i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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