When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
