The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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