Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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