all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
The Olympian is in my bed
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
