I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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