week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
